Saturday, October 3, 2009

Ok, ok...I miss the little guy!

"Jehovah is pleased with those fearing Him, with those waiting for His kindness." Psalms 147:11

So...I thought I was going to be all calm, cool and collected during this wait. Yes, he's in a great baby house. Yes, he has great caregivers. And yes, he's doing just fine. But I want him home now where he belongs. As the days pass, I am definitely missing him. I think about him more and more.

What troubles me is I've only been home 3 days. I have probably 45 more days before I'll see him and more than 60 before I can go get him!

So, what's a mom to do? Well, I can say with all assuredness I will be nesting. Feathering the nest for his arrival. I have to get my husband to clear out all his stuff from Ivan's bedroom closet. I have to find yet another spot for the treadmill that is tucked in the corner of his room. I have to get a stroller and carseat and clothes! I have to sort through Emily's old toys and put out the age appropriate ones for Ivan. I will be busy, but I just want him home now!

I do know that we are so incredibly blessed to have only started this journey such a short time ago and already have a child match and adoption proceeding! I know that the Lord has had me do most of my waiting prior to this decision to increase our numbers via international adoption. And knowing others who are waiting for years for a healthy baby, our experience is really so short...but it's hard to resist that childlike urge to crawl up in our Heavenly Father's lap and beg Him to please, please bring my baby home quickly!

We have the right and the priveledge to do this (and I have) but we have to be prepared for the Parental answer -

You are waiting because the wait is good for you.

Just like we tell our children, God wants to teach us that every good and perfect gift comes from Him and comes in His timing. And believe me, His timing is always perfect! It doesn't mean we can't ask, but it does mean that when do we ask, that we are driven by the desires of His heart and not those of our own. If God shows us that our desires don't align with His, then we must accept that and be obedient.

I can be patient, but if the Lord wills for this adoption to proceed more quickly, I'm fine with that too! :)

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